by Jane Caddell

I grew up in Maine, where cold weather is the norm for most of the year, so getting a good suntan was a challenge.

In 1984, I moved to Fayetteville, North Carolina. There, the summers were a lot longer. Eventually, I even started going with co-workers to a tanning salon. I visited the salon regularly for a year-and-a-half.

A year later, in July 2004, a mole appeared on the back of my knee, so I decided to go to a local dermatologist to have it examined. The doctor diagnosed it as malignant melanoma.

A week later, I had a wide excision done with a biopsy result of “all borders clear.” The surgeon assured me that I had nothing to worry about anymore.

In August 2005 I became very ill with what I thought was pneumonia. To my surprise, I was diagnosed with stage IV melanoma. The melanoma had metastasized to both of my lungs, my liver, and my lymph nodes, and possibly to my shoulder and leg bones.

Coping with Stage-IV Cancer

I was so lost when first diagnosed. When you hear the words “stage IV cancer,” many things run through your mind — this could kill me. Needless to say, I was whirling and spinning.

Thank God my local oncologist immediately referred me to Dr. Jared Gollob at Duke. He was like the guy from the TV show Fantasy Island, saying, “Welcome. We have something for you.” And was he right!

Dr. Gollob told me about treatments that we could try. I knew from that first day at Duke that there was plenty of hope for me and lots of advanced technology that other hospitals did not have that could potentially save my life.

An Intense Treatment

Dr. Gollob suggested treatment with Proleukin, which is a man-made version of a protein called Interleukin-2 that is normally used by the immune system to fight off infection.

IL-2 boosts the activity of the immune system and stimulates cells called lymphocytes to seek out and kill cancer cells. It also kills cells infected by viruses. High doses of IL-2 have been shown to cure some patients with advanced melanoma or kidney cancer.

I agreed to the treatment, which was no walk in the park. It was a grueling intense experience with side effects such as nausea, vomiting, low blood pressure, high heart rate, and thrush in my mouth, a white painful fungus-like substance. I was also delirious.

Still, if you asked me if I would do it again, you bet I would — in a minute!

In the summer of 2006, my scans can back negative, and Dr. Gollob told me that I was in complete remission. Now, I return to Duke for regular follow-up visits, which I welcome because Dr. Gollob and his staff are wonderful.

The Importance of Support

My parents, husband, daughter, and friends have been instrumental throughout my battle with cancer. I told them in the very beginning, “Hey, no long faces. I am going to beat this. You all have to keep this faith with me.” My family has a great sense of humor, and we found plenty of funny moments to get us through the treatment.

Support groups have been helpful too, and I suggest that anyone battling cancer should join one. A great online group that I visit daily is www.mpip.org for melanoma survivors.

It’s also really important to find a cancer buddy, someone who has been there, someone who knows and can understand your rawest emotions.

The Worst Diagnosis — and the Best

Before the diagnosis, I had the average American lifestyle. I was too busy. Now, I live moment-to-moment with a daily appreciation for every aspect of life. I often say to people, “Cancer is the worst thing that has ever happened to me.” But truthfully in another way, it is also the best thing that has ever happened to me.

The “view” that you get from the other side is spectacular! If I could bottle and sell what cancer can show you and teach you about the value of life — without your having to go through all of the trauma — I would truly be a billionaire.

The cancer has impacted me in another positive way. I started a melanoma awareness website called www.operationsunshield.org. I want to be involved in educating young people about melanoma and lobbying politicians to make stronger laws on the tanning industry.

So many people think that melanoma is just skin cancer, but it can kill you before you even know you have it. I shudder every time I drive by a tanning facility.

Winning Battle by Battle

I am here today after a hard battle with stage IV melanoma and have won the battle. I am not sure about the war yet; that is to be determined.

Every day, I make sure to put sunscreen on right after I get out of the shower, even if I know I probably won’t leave the house. I try to limit my time in the sun, but if I’m not able to, I wear long sleeves, a hat, and sunglasses.

I try as much as possible not to let cancer interfere with my life. My life is all about joy. Now, things that used to irritate me, I merely giggle about.

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Today almost every other person you talk too is living with daily joint pain. It does not matter what the age or physical shape of the person, daily pain seems to be a common complaint. Living with chronic pain can wear a person down, affecting energy levels, mood and overall stamina. The cause can vary however Arthritis is typically the root problem. Arthritis comes in more than 100 forms and one does not need to be of old age to have this debilitating disease. The cost of arthritis around the world is approx $400 billion in medical expenses and lost productivity.

Let’s face it preventative health care is boring and as a result most individuals do not provide their body with nutritional supplements until they are sick or in pain. We do not eat properly to get the nutrition required and even if we attempt to do so there is very little in nutrients remaining once we cook our food at high temperatures. Therefore it is very important to begin to nourish our joints at a young age to prevent Arthritis however very often this is not done until we can no longer stand the pain.

The fight against Arthritis is to begin early in life with good nutrition. Good nutrition also means the taking of daily nutritional supplements along with a balanced diet. A person should begin to supplement the diet as early as 30 years of age to fend off Arthritis symptoms later in life. As we get older our joints begin to lose lubrication, this can also happen earlier due to an injury or excessive stress on the joints as a result of sporting activity or repetitive motion. Once the joint begins to lose moisture we experience the loss of flexibility, and an increase in inflammation which results in stiffness and pain. We need to preserve the cartilage and fluid in all of our joints to maintain flexibility and live an active life.

Once symptoms begin the first thing most people resort to is pain medication however this just masks the underlying problem and does not provide nourishment to improve lubrication to the affected area. Natural supplements Celadrin, MSM, Glucosamine, and Chondroitin have been on the market for years and commonly taken to alleviate arthritic symptoms. Taken in pill form these supplements may take up to several months before individuals begin to feel better therefore most people give up before they even begin to see results. Pills are required to be broken down by the digestive system before the necessary ingredients can be absorbed by the bloodstream and intestinal track and it may take that long to get enough of these ingredients into the body to be helpful. Gel-nutrition is a new natural alternative which takes these same proven ingredients and keeps them in a pre-hydrated state so that the body can quickly absorb them into the bloodstream for quick relief of pain and they begins to nourish the body and its joints with-in one hour after ingestion. Positive results have been seen with-in 4 to 72 hours depending on the individual. Now just imagine all 4 natural supplements combined into one powerful gel formula, no more need to take a hand full of pills each day.

Just exactly what are these ingredients and what do they do?

Celadrin – or cetyl myristoleate is a blend of cetylated fatty acids that provides lubrication to the joints. Blended, invented and patented by chemist Harry Diehl PhD cetyl myristoleate was found to circulate in the blood of mice and made them immune to arthritis. Celadrin may also act as an anti-inflammatory agent.

MSM – or methylsulfonylmethane is a naturally occurring, organic, sulfur compound. Taken as a nutritional dietary source of sulfur, which is the 4th most abundant element in the human body, MSM is necessary for making and repairing cartilage. MSM has been shown to relieve pain as a result of rheumatoid arthritis and osteoarthritis

Glucosamine – is a small carbohydrate molecule which is naturally synthesized (produced) in the body. This synthesis declines with aging therefore the need to supplement. Glucosamine supports cartilage maintenance and strength therefore reducing and relieving joint pain.

Chondroitin – or chondroitin sulfate is naturally synthesized in the body and supports strong cartilage. Chondroitin protects existing cartilage by reducing water loss and by slowing the breakdown of the cartilage. Glucosamine and Chondroitin work together to protect the cartilage from wear and tear and help it maintain its strength.

As you can see each ingredient has its own job to do and how all 4 are necessary to maintaining healthy joints and reducing pain. To learn more about gel-nutrition visit [http://www.agelhealthandwellness.com].

My Story – The straw that broke the camels back was the day that I broke into tears at work over a situation that I found to be frustrating. Never in my 27 year career had I lost emotional control in my work environment. Growing up in a stiff British home very seldom did I ever lose emotional control over anything? The problem….chronic pain. After years of working on a computer that was not properly set up for my work station I had developed osteo-degenerative arthritis in my neck. I lived every day with a stiff neck, to the point that I had difficulty driving a vehicle and I was having weekly migraines. I was eating over the counter pain pills like they were candy and my doctor eventually put me on a pain medication called Vioxx. This drug was pulled off the shelves after I had taken it for 18 months and could no longer be prescribed. I spent over 2 years and thousands of dollars trying to get rid of the pain and put some mobility back into my neck. I worked with a message therapist, physio therapist and a chiropractor on a weekly basis to get the situation under control. Sound familiar to any of you. Well the pain became manageable however it never fully went away until I began to take a gel-nutrition formula which contained all of the above noted ingredients. The pain medication just masked the problem and all the therapy in the world was not going to put lubrication back into my joints, calm down the inflammation and strengthen the cartilage between my vertebrae. Now having said that, the therapy was also necessary to ease the muscle tightness which had happened around the affected area.

Like many I had tried MSM and Glucosamine in pill form however became impatient due to the slow results. People who are living with chronic pain want quick results even thought I fully realized this problem took years to create and would not be fixed over night. Today I am happy to say that I am pain free, even my ankles, which suffered many years of abuse from jogging and sport activity. My pain and stiffness eased after giving my body the proper nutrition for only 1 week. My symptoms were gone after 2 weeks.

Do your body a favor, educate yourself on gel-nutrition and begin to enjoy life. Follow this link to purchase the best MSM/Glucosamine product available:

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by Lisa DeSpain (Kennesaw, GA)

I’ve been battling migraines for about 10 years now. I’ve been through the whole gauntlet – CAT scans, MRI’s, contrast PET scans, test, test, test, test, ad nauseum. Anyway, you name it, I’ve done it. I’ve tried pretty much every migraine med on the planet at least once. The only things I have found that keep these beasts at bay, and I have one everyday, mind you, is anti-nausea meds, and pain killers (Darvocet, and sometimes aspirin). Most days, I can knock the pain level down to what I call “ignore“, which on a 1-10 scale is about a 4. It never quite goes away.

I used to be able to break the cycle of a days long headache with a pain shot at the doctor’s office. That would usually make it go away, even for a few hours. Then, if the weather started getting bad, or the day ended in Y, it would come back. That break strategy no longer works as well as it did. I’m not sure why, but the demerol no longer has the cut off effect it used to have.

I’ve been seeing the same neurologist for the past 5 years, since I moved to GA. Most of my visits, he just nods, doesn’t listen, writes the prescriptions, and heads out the door. One visit, I mentioned that I was having hallucinations of monkeys hitting me in the head and that was why my head hurt so much. He just nodded and said that must be quite nice for me. Huh?! I was just testing to see if he was listening to anything I had to say. Guess what the results of that test were? So, he keeps writing the scripts, I keep taking the meds, and the headaches just keep on a-coming!

Which brings us to this week… The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again, and expecting different results. I decided that I would make him listen and maybe, oh, I don’t know, DO something? His diagnosis and solution? He decided that I’m experiencing rebound headaches. Which are caused by too much pain medication.

Solution? No more pain meds, not even anything over the counter. The problem is that it never goes away, so my question is how can it be a rebound if it doesn’t go away? Anyway, I haven’t been allowed any pain medication to lessen this grind since Tuesday.

They want to clear out all the meds that are in the brain receptors in order to give the preventive stuff he has me on a chance to work. It’s been 3 days and I wish my head would just fall off. No such luck! tongue out

For the record, I understand the concept and it has sound reasoning, but I’ve had a Category 8 headache since Monday. I haven’t had anything for the pain since Tuesday. Today is Friday. I’m losing my freaking mind! Yesterday, they finally called in steroids and a new migraine med (to the tune of $60 – $10 a pill!)

For that kind of money, it should sing, dance, and do my laundry!. This particular combination is supposed to reduce the swelling in my brain (and the money in my wallet!), and relieve the pain. I’m still a-waitin‘! Bring on the relief!

I have found that trying to think when you have a headache like this is like doing Differential Calculus while someone stabs you in the butt with a pitchfork! No wonder I call these things Headaches from Hell!

Thanks for listening. It helps to vent to someone other than my poor husband and my mom. Those two are going for Sainthood at this point.

If you have ideas, I am open and willing to listen. As my Grandpa used to say, “I’d pee on an electrified fence, if I thought it would do any good!“

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Hi, my name is Bonnie and I am 50 with a husband, daughter 15 and son 9.

He took a chest x-ray and informed me it was Walking Pneumonia, gave me a prescription and sent me on my way. The following weekend after I had returned, my son and I both got really sick with colds. He got better, I didn’t. I went back to the doctor the following week and he gave me another prescription but told me to make an appointment at the St. Paul Radiology for a CT scan. That appointment was on April 28th. Was informed there was something on my lung, and I had should make an appointment to have a Bronchoscope. I believe at this point, deep down I knew I had cancer but until I was told on May 9th that it was cancer, I still held out hope it was something else.

Once I received the diagnosis on May 9th, my whole world fell apart. I was an emotional wreck! My doctor gave me a number to call to set up an appointment with an Oncologist. I called there and asked for whoever was available first. My appointment was on May 12th. I went in with my husband who took notes since neither of us would remember what was said. I was diagnosed with localized small cell lung cancer (due to smoking which I quit immediately). I had a 3cmx2-1/2cm on my right lung and two 2.8cmx1.2cm in my lymph nodes in the middle of the lungs.

Things started to roll then. May 13th for an MRI, May 15 for a bone scan, May 16 to a Radiology Oncologist for results of these tests and all came out O.K. with no further cancer found.

In the midst of all this, my daughter got confirmed and I felt so bad since it is the first time we haven’t had a family get together for a special occasion. But my daughter was just fine with going to the Olive Garden with us and her god-parents.

I think I cried for the first 2 or 3 weeks after I was diagnosed. I cried on my husband’s shoulder, in front of the kids, relatives, friends, etc. I just couldn’t seem to snap out of the depression I was in.

Then I started to talk with a gal I worked with who was also diagnosed with small cell New Years Eve of ’99. She came back to work and was in such high spirits and doing so well, I really thought I was going to come out of this just like her.

Even though I started to feel better emotionally, I asked my Doctor for sleeping pills and anti-depressants. I’m not the type of person who can take everything in stride. I feel the anti-depressants have really helped me through and not to worry so much about my Cancer.

I started chemo May 17th (Cisplatin and VP16), 3 days a week, every 3 weeks for 4 cycles and radiation (42 treatments). I was a little nauseous and out of sorts for about 3 days after chemo but seemed to handle it pretty well. Radiation did make my esophagus sore so I couldn’t eat very well but I got through that also. Finished radiation on July 18th and chemo on July 31. Then had to wait until August 21 to do CT scans.

On August 25th my Oncologist said he couldn’t find a trace of cancer. I jumped for joy and cried and praised the Lord!!

Then I went on 9/11 for MRI to the head. I was so scared that the cancer had spread to the brain but the results showed no cancer, praise the Lord!!

9/13 started preventative brain radiation for 14 treatments. These went pretty well.

Through all this I had joined a Lung Cancer Support Group and a church cancer support group. I have learned a lot from the Lung group and especially things to ask my Oncologist or Radiation Oncologist. I also have made some very good friends. I needed the spiritual support because once I was diagnosed, my whole outlook on life changed. I became less judgmental, and would sit outside for hours just admiring the gifts from God and asking Him everyday for healing and forgiveness.

Also, my friend from work who has small cell, had gone in for an MRI because she was going to have preventative brain radiation and they wanted to make sure there was no cancer in the head. Unfortunately, there were 6 cancerous spots. When I found this out I thought I would end up the same. I was devastated. She had radiation to the brain but had stronger doses than for preventative. She and her husband are traveling now and she knows her months are numbered but her spirits are high and I’m sure she walks with Jesus by her side.

My Oncologist gave me a name of a research person for a randomized limited disease small cell lung cancer vaccine study. I am very excited about this study, and feel even if I don’t get the vaccine which is supposed to reduce the risk of getting this cancer back, I will be helping with cancer research for everyone.

So far, this is my story. I am a survivor for 6-1/2 months now and am looking forward to every new day that I wake up to.

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by Mike

Earlier this year, I had one of the most serious ordeals with health in my life so far – my battle with gingivitis. No, scratch that. My WAR with gingivitis – because that’s really what it was – me against the gingivitis, all-out, total mobilization, day-in and day-out. It began when I paid a visit to the dentist for a semi-annual checkup a handful of months ago. She removed a good deal of plaque from the fronts of my teeth and asked me how regularly I had been brushing and for how long? I told her the truth. Now, I’m never one to neglect personal hygiene or health issues – that would totally contradict my “Body First” philosophy, after all. But, to be honest, I was always pretty lucky as far as dental health goes – that’s really the only legitimate way of describing it: “luck” – so while I was told to brush my teeth well and often as a kid – and floss, too – I never really got toothaches or problems when I didn’t so I didn’t see the point. I never even had a cavity throughout my youth – still haven’t actually! Now, like I said – I was just lucky about this, I’m not saying anyone can get away with it – and I probably shouldn’t have. Anyway, the truth of the matter dawned on me when the dentist mentioned my gingivitis infection and that I needed to start brushing her way. “Sorry,” I asked her, “are you saying if I don’t do this I CAN GET gingivitis?” The dentist, really nice lady but getting visibly impatient, said “no, you need to cure your gingivitis – you HAVE gingivitis.” Ok, now the truth of the matter dawned on me.

And so it begins. My dentist advised me to brush every day at least twice: two minutes each time, with one minute for the top and one minute for the bottom, 30 seconds apiece on each side of the mouth. Also, I only needed to brush the rim of the teeth near the gum line, which is normally pink but mine was now red. The rest of the teeth would take care of itself once all that plaque was out of the way. For the next week or so I didn’t feel a thing. Then I started seeing little patches of blood on the toothbrush every time I took it out of my mouth. I brushed harder to see if more blood would come out, which it gradually did. I eventually found the source of the blood near the front of my bottom jaw between two large teeth and in the gum line around them. I spent extra time brushing that section – and more blood came out. I continued on and it started oozing out like I had never seen it before – I had to soak a lot of it up with tissue paper, and it was spilling down to cover half my bottom lip – bringing with it a stingy sensation. Now, between the two teeth I mentioned before it looked as though a chasm had opened up and a huge tirade of shining red blood was oozing on out. It was like in the movie The Shining when the elevator doors were opening up. Playtime was over – the real action had begun!

I know that my dentist prescribed me to brush for 2 minutes each day, but I had stepped that up to 5 or 10, mostly on that section but not forgetting about the rest of my mouth – I couldn’t let the remainder of my teeth become like that – that would be overkill! With every stroke down there I knew I was making progress but I felt tremendous agony and saw a massive onslaught of blood come out – making my toothbrush entirely red. I manned up and pretended the blood was the gingivitis’s and not mine – this is a war, after all. There were some nights where even if I simply touched the toothbrush to that part of my mouth I felt sharp pain and could not go on. But I knew I had to endure every second of this if I was to go on and eventually conquer my opponent – the gingivitis. Another, smaller section had appeared a couple teeth down from the original one with marginal pain and blood. I immediately rushed my brush over there so as not to allow it to become like the first couple teeth. But a new trouble emerged – in my lower gum in the middle of the red wasteland a whitish pink sore had appeared. It was a bastion of pain and agony in its own right and began to cough up blood of its own. Remember the movie Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man’s Chest at the end when Johnny Depp is fighting the Cracken and you see its mouth? Yeah, it was kind of like that. Now the side of my mouth that the gingivitis was on starkly contrasted to the other side which seemed in perfect condition. It was the Iron Curtain of my teeth.

Over time, the sore and the trench seemed to get gradually better – provided I did not slack off and miss a day of brushing. This was crunch time now. In my lower gum where the blood had been flowing to there was now a wide patch of white skin scabs covering the pink gums with a hint of swelling. As I finished brushing every morning and night I would pick at the scabs and rip them off with a scalpel. The sore was much weakened now and the original teeth – which I could still draw a line of blood on my floss out of, was showing a hint of dead skin but the gingivitis was on the retreat. I would only have to persevere a little while longer to make my mouth gingivitis-free.

So, the moral of the story is don’t take good health for granted – because if you do than it has a habit of going away. And when you face a serious crisis, the key is thinking on your feet and endurance. If you ever have gingivitis – remember, YOU have the gingivitis, the gingivitis does not HAVE you. I’ve been much more careful about brushing my teeth now. Can’t let my history repeat itself. Thanks, good night everyone.

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I work as a hair stylist and beautician. A high percentage of people in my profession seem to suffer from Carpal Tunnel Syndrome due to heavy use of our hands and wrists clipping hair, twisting curling irons and rotating hair blowers at different angles to quickly dry hair in doing our styling magic.

When symptoms flared up, numbness and lack of feeling spread through my fingers and pulsating painful electric-like jolts shot through my wrists. I knew it was Carpal Tunnel because many of my friends and colleagues in the hair styling profession have experienced the same devastating effects. I was depressed. I have seen careers ruined and friends lose the use of their hands.

My doctor said I needed to schedule and nerve conductivity study with a neurologist and get ready for surgery, in his opinion this was the only thing that he had seen that could really help chronic CTS.

Several of my friends tried the splints, but they could not work with the splints on, so they had the injections which gave relief for a month or two, but I guess they are steroid based and can only be done once or twice to give you time to adjust your activities with your hands or plan surgery.

My friends that have had surgery either found that after all the rehab and downtime that they still had some lingering symptoms and after eighteen months the symptoms came back just as strong or stronger than before. One friend repeated surgery and was told by the surgeon that he would only perform the second surgery if she changed her career. That stinks!

Another friend found that her symptoms changed after surgery, but the discomfort after surgery was even worse than before she had the surgery, she had to retire from hair styling and is now doing child care in a day care facility and finds she has to be very careful about how much she does each day with her hands and wrists.

After hearing from my friends their tales, I was not going to go down the path to surgery. I love what I do and besides -How many jobs can you do without using your hands, most jobs that I can do outside of hair styling involve using a computer with your hands which can aggravate CTS just as much if not more than hair styling.

So, I started looking for another type of home remedy or therapy I could do myself or from a hand therapist or chiropractor. A friend recommended the Thermoskin Carpal Tunnel Gloves. I thought to myself, gloves? How in the world can gloves help me get over Carpal Tunnel? I checked them out at Amazon and was impressed by the logical yet simple protocol. It seemed like something I could fit into my life without too much trouble or expense and the fact that there was a money back guarantee, Better Business Bureau backing and a lot of believable testimonials, I liked what I read.

So, I ordered the gloves and gave them a try. They were amazing! After just a week my worst symptoms were gone and it did not wake me up at night anymore. Over the full six weeks, I found my symptoms completely disappeared and tended to forget that I ever had trouble with my hands and wrists.

A friend said it was good karma for the year to give something back at New Years. I wanted to tell others about my story since I know there are a lot of people suffering. It is my New Years Gift and one of my resolutions to give back when I have been well treated. I have been well treated by the Thermoskin Carpal Tunnel Gloves.

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by Dick Little

I first realized something was wrong when I went to say something to the dog when I got up in the morning and the words did not come out. I didn’t feel any different. I thought I must have had a mini stroke like I had had before but because everything seemed ok I carried on as normal.

I drove off to Poole about 6/7 miles away to go to Tesco and then on to the pet food shop and I found that I could not get my words out when I tried to speak to the shop assistants. After driving home I decided to sweep the leaves up off the driveway when the phone went. It was my son on the phone checking up on me. When I managed to stumble out a few words which were very garbled he immediately realized that I had had a proper stroke, something I think I was in denial over as I was determined to go out to a farewell lunch with friends before I moved to London. These events occurred between about 9 and 12 o’clock.

When my son realized I had had a stroke he ordered me to stay at home. He called the GP surgery and was told the locum GP would come around and see me, after he had had his lunch in about a hours time. My son was not happy with this and called the ambulance service through my careline service, who arrived within 10 minutes and got me all ready to go to hospital. We were about to leave, when the GP arrived too late to do anything further. During the rest of the day the hospital did numerous tests and I was taken up to the wards when my son arrived having driven down to Dorset from London.

By the time my son had arrived my speech had deteriorated and I had lost the feeling in my left hand and on the left side of my face. We were told that if I had called the doctor or the emergency service as soon as it had happened they could have started treatment sooner and my difficulties may not have been so severe. I spent about 4/5 weeks in hospital before being taken up to my son’s home in London where I am looked after by him and his partner.

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1. 5 Days in Hell: A Headache Story

by Amanda

I am 26 years old. Since I was 13, I’ve experienced sleep paralysis, vivid nightmares and awareness of my surroundings during sleep. The absolute terror that accompanies these experiences is hard to describe because there is nothing that I can compare it to.

Tell me if this sounds familiar to you: (1) I would “wake up”, lying on my back–trying to figure out if I was having a dream or not (I still don’t know). (2) I sensed a presence focusing on me intensely. I could not see it, but every part of me said that it was there and that I was in extreme danger. It seemed to be a male presence but not something living (3) I couldn’t move. Not even a pinky. A couple of times, after A LOT of effort, I would be able to move my head to the right to try to get a look at it. This freaked me out even more. I compare it to what a fly feels like when it’s caught in a web and the spider is coming to get it. The fly knows that the spider is going to eat it and that it can do nothing to stop the spider. The fly can only sit there and wait for it to happen. (4) I couldn’t breath, except for shallow, quick breaths–it was because I was overwhelmed with fear. (5) The “thing” got closer and closer as I got more scared. Sometimes, the “thing” would get close to my face (I couldn’t see it–only FEEL it) and I could feel it staring at me. I would feel myself being lifted off the bed and my terror would escalate. (6) I would always wake up at this point because I was so worked up (I think that’s why). I ALWAYS woke up at the same time: 4:00 in the moring give or take three or four minutes. I had this “dream” for about six months straight.

One night, after another episode, I got sick and tired–actually desperate– of being so scared. I got up and started yelling at the “thing”. I told it to leave me alone, that I wasn’t scared of it anymore. I was lying, of course, but saying those things out loud gave me courage. After that, every time I had an episode, I was able to move around and resist a little bit more each time. Eventually, they just dwindled away. I still have vivid nightmares. They used to only be about houses. I would visit these houses that I’d never been in and explore them. Again, I would sense a presence watching me from a distance but my explorations allowed me to evade it. Several days later, I would revisit the dream and come face to face with it…playing cat and mouse. The dreams were VERY realistic and I felt extremely alert during them. I would usually wake up from the same breathing difficulty associated with terror. I would be lying on my back and it was usually 4a.m. when I woke up. Alot of times, my boyfriend would hear me whimpering and wake me up. I thought that I was being stalked by evil spirits (in real-life). This went on until last year.

Finally, in one dream, while the ghost and I were in the middle of “cat and mouse”, I gathered up enough courage to stop running from it and slammed a door in it’s face. I never had another one of those dreams again. Now, I dream about aliens and deserted, run down school buildings, but it’s very rare and without the intensity of the other dreams that plagued me for years. I even have nice dreams sometimes. Other that that, my dreams are benign, which suits me fine. I still experience acute awareness during early stages of sleep and my body feels like it’s tingling. I would guess it can be called an out-of-body experience where my spirit lifts itself only so far out of my body. This still spooks me because I feel so alert and I get that “being watched” feeling. Overall, though, I believe that my experiences are part physiological (heightened awareness can be related to changes in barometric pressure, thunder storms, etc and sleep paralysis is a biological event that happens every night to actually KEEP you asleep) and part psychological(spiritually). I do not feel that they are paranormal, although I used to believe that. I look back at them now and I see a pattern of terror related to one basic thing: perilous situations that were beyond my control–the fly syndrome.

When I learned to face the terrors and have courage in the dreams, the nightmares dwindled away. When one kind went away, another one took it’s place but it wasn’t as bad as the previous. Note also, that my “acts of courage”, so to speak, were not much; merely enough to symbolically give myself enough strength to stop running away from the the things that I feared. For me, what I feared most was not the things stalking me, but the situation itself. My suggestion to you is to look at the nightmares and ask yourself what it really was that made you so scared…was it the the “thing”, ghost etc., or was it something else? Like I said, for me it all boiled down to the lack of control over the situation. That scared me more that the ghosts or the “thing” because I felt defenseless. I’ve learned so much about myself and am a much more spiritually secure human being, now. I found that when I faced my fears in the dreams I was more capable of overcoming self-doubt, fear, depression and insecurity. Also, I’m not saying that I had the nightmares because of a control issue. It was a defense issue for me. Defenses that I only recently aquired in real-life. My advise to you: go to sleep with courage.It doesn’t take much of it to fight back. After you fight back, it’s not as bad the next time. You will eventually come out of the experience a stronger person.

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It all began with a fracture to my L5 vertebra. I had been out playing on my Sea Doo (personal watercraft), which is one of my favorite activities. I hit the ocean hard that day, and apparently, I hit my L5 vertebra hard! After a fun day on the ocean, I usually soak in the hot tub to take away the aches and pains I have incurred while playing on the ocean. My back is generally sore after a day like that particular day, so I didn’t think much of the back and hip pain I was experiencing.

Two weeks passed, and I was still suffering from significant back and hip pain. I thought, guess it’s time to see a doctor. When the doctor brought in the X-ray of my spine, and said “you have a fracture” I just about fell off the table. All I thought was “what? fracture? how?” My doctor took a history of what activities I had been participating in the last couple of weeks. It was decided that my “fun day” on the water was the culprit of the back and hip pain.

A magnetic resonance image scan (MRI) and CT scan later, it was confirmed – a fracture of my L5. Recovery was estimated at approximately six months. But at six months, I was still suffering from significant hip pain. Significant enough that I could not walk more than 100 yards without having to stop in wrenching pain. I had to limit any exercise, as the pain was just too much. I went back to the orthopedist, and he referred me to a pain management specialist. The pain management physician reviewed my MRI again, and noticed some swelling at the spinal cord nerve junction at L4 and L5. He said this compression on the nerve could refer pain to my hip. Two spinal epidural injections later, I felt pretty good for a short period of time. I was using my ability to take long walks as my key to recovery success.

After a month, the hip pain was back, and with the same intensity. My orthopedic doctor was stumped. The pain management doctor was stumped. Out of frustration, I decided to take the pain in the hip matter into my own hands. I work with physicians, so I called the rheumatologist I work with, and asked him if I he would be willing to examine the pain I was having.

After a short exam, describing the hip pain, intensity, location, etc., his diagnosis was hip bursitis. He gave me a steroid injection into the troublesome area. I am happy to report that nine months later, I only have hip pain on occasion.

Sometimes it takes a fresh perspective to make a diagnosis. I can only surmise that my orthopedist and pain management doctors were focused on the fracture, or nerve compression as the source of my hip pain, and failed to “look outside the box.”

Patient advocacy is an important part of your health care, and sometimes it is necessary to take an active role in the diagnosis and treatment process. Doctor’s aren’t perfect, if you feel that you are not getting the answers you need, sometimes a second opinion is helpful. In my case, taking the matter into my own hands and reaching out for a second opinion solved the problem.

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by Walter Moore

I am 57-years old and was diagnosed with severe osteoporosis only after decades of painful fractures.

As a child I helped around my family’s farm and was very active: always running, jumping and playing outside in the sun. I also drank “real” cow milk. I continued to lead a physically active lifestyle as an adult.

Then, at the age of thirty, I experienced a rib fracture. At the time I thought ‘that’s normal, it can happen’. I had another fracture at the age of 40 and subsequently several rib fractures. I questioned whether this was indeed normal, but the doctor didn’t take me seriously and reassured me that slalom is a rather dangerous sport and anyone with slippery shoes can fall on an icy street. And of course I knew my self – my mind is always way ahead of my body – so little accidents can happen… There was also no real explanation for the excruciating back pain. I was told that the vertebral discs had become partly thinner, but not to worry, everyone has degenerative arthritis.

As a result, for many years my life was filled with pain and my quest for a diagnosis included visits to various doctors, X-rays, physiotherapy – a frustrating and expensive odyssey. I even spent a whole year working only 2 days a week to see whether my health would improve. This turned out to have no effect – in the end it was always painkillers and “on with life” regardless of the pain.

Five years ago, as I leaned over the back of the chair in our kitchen, something snapped in my chest. My wife refused to believe that a broken bone could “just happen” for no reason. Inspired by an ad in a newspaper, I made one phone call to a private medical center and an appointment for a DXA. The result of the DXA clearly showed that I had very serious osteoporosis.

I took the DXA-results to the company doctor at work and after that to the university hospital. A series of examinations revealed the whole picture: how serious my osteoporosis was and why I had it. I was also diagnosed with silent celiac disease, a mal absorption disorder in which the body’s ability to absorb protein, fat, carbohydrates, vitamins and minerals, especially calcium and vitamin D, is greatly reduced. Since both calcium and vitamin D are essential for bone health, this partly explains why osteoporosis is so common in celiac disease. This also explained why I had low haemoglobin counts, and suffered from tiredness, weight loss and many infections.

Although osteoporosis had been diagnosed, the official medical center could offer me very little information. I was lucky that I was accepted for a self help course, which was organised by the Finnish Osteoporosis society. I met people who were in the same position as I was. After discussions together and after the lessons held by professionals, I found out how I could cope and move forward with my life.

Now I am retired. My back is fragile and I can’t lift over 5 kg. How I wish that I could lift our sweet little grandchild on to my lap! Shopping bags quickly become too heavy for me to lift safely. Sitting long periods is very difficult – walking at times very painful. But I need to keep myself moving and fortunately I live in a house with a garden and I work there as much as I can. Another hobby is Nordic walking, which I didn’t know much about before my osteoporosis-diagnosis.

Because one reason for my osteoporosis was celiac disease, I follow a very exact gluten-free diet. During the last five years I have taken medicine for my osteoporosis, calcium and vitamin-D tablets. Exercise, which I used to do occasionally, is now a routine part of my everyday life. To maximize my safety in case of a fall, I wear hip protectors every day and in winter I wear spike-soled shoes when I go out.

The good news is that my bones are in a better shape than they used to be. The DXA-measurement last year showed that my bone mass has improved 20 % compared to the results of the first DXA.

I believe that with exercise, medication, calcium and vitamin D, my bone health has improved. That’s why I’m not afraid of aging. I know that by taking charge of my lifestyle, I can positively influence my health – and my bones will continue to carry me into the future.”

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