/ General Health / How I Cured FibromyalgiaThe day my hands refused to work properly I sensed my “superwoman” days had ended! My body hurt all over, and I was so exhausted that it felt as though water, not blood, was running through my veins. Physically unable to carry on as senior teacher in a special school, I returned home believing that I’d be fine after a few days’ rest. I wasn’t to know that I’d already taught my last lesson and that a diagnosis of the pain and fatigue condition fibromyalgia would mean that my life would never be exactly the same again. So began what has been one of the most challenging yet fulfilling parts of my life so far – the road to better health and a new career as a life coach and author.
But what had led me to the point of coming to complete halt in such a dramatic way? Why had I felt so indestructible before then?
My post-war upbringing had emphasized values of responsibility, hard work and selflessness. Children back then were expected to be seen and not heard, and as I was sent away to boarding school at the age of 10, I wasn’t often seen either! With a sense of humor, music and sporting ability, I quickly developed the personal survival skills of independence and communication, becoming a “universal enabler” for everyone I met. I avoided conflict at all costs, and became a skilled people-pleaser. Years later, through my training as a personal coach, I came to understand that conflict is part of life and it’s how you deal with it that is the key to being comfortable and confident in your own skin.
My adult life has been littered with drama including divorces, and numerous operations including a hysterectomy and mastectomy. Through it all I clung on to the premise, “Onwards and upwards. It’s business as usual,” but when my body finally refused to play that particular game, I had to take a new look at myself. It was the best thing ever.
Fibromyalgia is an invisible, debilitating condition with a variety of ever-changing symptoms that, while not clinically life-threatening, are certainly life changing. My own difficulties were initially acute; gnawing muscle pain, fatigue, numbness, pins and needles, migraines, short-term memory loss, stomach problems and sensitivity to light, sound and touch. I was horrified to find that there was no consensus of medical care available and that nobody could offer a plan or way forward. Most of what I read at that time – in 2001 – was very negative and from a “victim” perspective. I had a sudden upsurge of indignation – I hadn’t survived all the stuff I’d already lived through just to give up at the age of 52! It was time for me to become my own enabler at last.
For two years I worked toward becoming a qualified life coach. I gave my own life a complete spring clean. Keeping the positive “essence of Pam”, I let go of values that no longer served me well, and put health and well-being at the top of the list. The work was motivating and energizing. I allowed myself time to “be” without guilt. I began to manage my improving symptoms without fear and make good choices for myself in line with the real me and my present needs.
I set up my coaching business Amethyst Accord Life Services, and began writing for UK Fibromyalgia’s Family magazine. Working with people by phone across the country, I realized that although everyone is an individual, the broader issues to do with living with chronic illness are universal. Despite all my clients moving forward, I didn’t feel I was reaching enough people with the positive coaching message, so I decided to write The Fibromyalgia Coach, a self-help coaching book for anyone involved in coping with long-term health conditions in general and fibromyalgia in particular.
I set out to provide a much-needed framework from which anyone can move forward at their own pace with Success Skills, Action Points, thought-provoking questions, supportive coaching commentary, and real–life examples of how others have adopted and adapted the ideas to suit their own situations. I’m delighted to say that feedback so far has been totally positive, with even GPs recommending my book to a variety of patients – not just those with fibromyalgia.
As for me, I’m fit, happy, and my hands are fine. Living with fibromyalgia has given me a deep understanding and acceptance of myself and I’m living a busy, fulfilled life with coaching, writing, speaking engagements, workshops and courses. I’m mindful of my life balance, the need to pace myself, and to seek help when necessary, but I don’t believe that fibromyalgia stops me doing anything nowadays. The Superwoman self-image is long gone, but the future looks great!
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